LOST

A poem for a regretted decision done when love was concerned.

Lost

I know it’s too late,

When I see the love in your eyes fade.

Your love which I took for granted,

Is lost now when I really want it.

Every time I think of you,

I remember you as the person I always knew.

The calm, caring and loving being,

With a tint of mischief and joyous beam.

Whenever you held me in your arms,

I felt protected in a life with no harms.

I knew you were my world,

A companion for life till I grew old.

Now when I look back,

I am stung by the moments I now lack.

It’s my and only my fault,

Is what seems to be my only thought.

I want you, I really do,

To hold me in your arms and start life anew.

To be yours and only yours,

Forever and forever in good times and in worse.

But I know it’s too late,

And I blame myself for it to date.

My world I have lost,

A mistake done and regretted the most.

A deadly virus called Boredom

Sometimes there are times when you do something so random that it keeps you thinkin,'What the heck am I doing? 'Somehow lately life has got me doing a lot of things random.Infact i hv kinda strted luving the word 'RANDOM' (Well, strt doing things random and strt using it in every conversation, m sure u gonne luv the wrd too.......;)

However, this randomness has its own gud points too.....well for once i thought of creating my own blog (well wt better place to praise n giv credit to my randomness....lol), thn i kinda learnt to cook, clean n stitch(in short...i learnt to become a good good housewife...;) n a lot of other random stuff here n there which seemed fun at the beginning. But slowly slowly that randomness disappeared too and its place was taken by another word........BOREDOM.

Now what do you when you are hit by the boredom bug???? Well, the blog thingie was fun, but lack of time had me writing my latest post now( Gonna apologize to the blog for not paying attention to it soon through another post...:), then there was cooking and stitching....but for how long am i gonna stitch n cook(mite as well get married and use all the experience of stitching and cooking as soon as possible.....lol).

Boredom really kills and its best you not attacked by it....M trying my best to amuse myself as much as i can but still am scared that soon amusing myself can get me back to being bored again.

Right now, i think its best that i end my post here coz m kinda getting the feeling that the repetition of the word 'bored', 'boring' and 'boredom' may end up making this post boring and the one reading it bored too.There i started with the words boring and bored again.........let me juz stop here and end by saying that beware of the boredom kheeda or else you will have urself landed into the worst of all cases or i mite as well say, 'the worst of all boring cases'.

P.S: Any suggestions to get rid of boredom in my life and in my vocabulary are gladly appreciated....NJOY!!!

Native specials

Came back from my native place last week…attended many family functions, met loads of old and new relatives, got wet in the rain, hogged onto a lot of non-veg food (especially chicken, prepared in all forms ;-), slept a lot, had loads of ice-creams etc etc…..in short ‘had a nice time’.

There were certain things that really fascinated me though,

Firstly the rains…The weather in my native was totally unpredictable, but the best part was always the unpredictable rain. Just imagine a hot sweaty day and all of a sudden it starts raining (oh boy….what joy that is).Adding to that, the smell of the earth after it rains (one of my favorite things, it’s like you can’t get enough of it).Now if it’s raining…..I believe (and I quote) that ‘it is compulsory’ to get wet atleast once and that’s what my friends and I did. Well, after our so-called compulsory ritual, a slight cold has to follow backed with lots of sneezing and sniffing. But that still didn’t stop us…..infact we went a step ahead, we had ice-creams despite the cold (well, it’s my holiday and yeah nobody to stop me……that’s what I call enjoying freedommmmmmm).In short, RAIN DANCE+COLD+ICE –CREAMS = TOTAL FUN.

Secondly the family functions (they fascinate me the most)

The reasons,

1) You attend a family function and guess what?? You suddenly realize that your so-called large family is indeed really really large….say about 100+ members.

2) Every 2^nd person you meet is related to you in someway or the other. Either he is your dad’s brother’s wife’s sister’s son or she is your mom’s brother’s wife. In short….'related'.

3) Then your mom and dad introduce you to as many relatives as possible marked with the opening line, “Do you remember him?” Well, if you say yes….you are asked, ‘Tell me who is he?” and if you say no, then (God save your soul) you are provided with the entire bio-data starting from how he is related to you till how old his kids are.

4) And after the introduction session, your mom and dad will remind you as to where you met him before. “He had come for your communion party” or “He was the first one to visit you in the hospital when your were born”(like I’ll remember).I am just waiting for the day when my parents introduce me to someone and say “He’ll be there for your wedding”.

5) It still does not end here, what follows are the questions your so-called just introduced relative asks…typically typical…

“Oh, you have become so big!”

(Yeah dude, I’m sorry you are disappointed…I decided to grow)

“You look so much like your mom.”

(Really? Well that’s interesting…I though I still looked like an ape)

“Why you so thin? Mom doesn’t feed you?”

(No aunty, mom doesn’t feed me. That’s why I depend on such family functions for food. Do you know when the next family functions is?)

“What are you plans ahead?”

This is a tricky one coz indirectly it’s not the career plan they are asking you about, but your marriage plans.

(Well aunty, I’m thinking of getting married so that everyone is finally assured of the fact that I have grown up, so that I start looking like a married lady instead of my mother and so that I can have babies and put on some weight. In short, I’m getting married to get rid of these typical questions and make way for new ones)

Guess you know now why family functions fascinate me the most….. ;-)

And thirdly….the gossips n talks…If one thing is said, interesting masala is added to it and it is blown out of proportion. At present, some issue is going on in my native which had become a popular topic of discussion for everyone. Everywhere I went, I got to hear about it with a new twist or angle to it and along with the viewpoints of the people discussing it. Even those who barely knew the real story joined in and gave their opinion. One thing I realized from these talks and stories was that the more one discussed about the issue, the more interesting and popular it became. At the end, what is wrong will forever be wrong. Inspite of the support and assurance, what others will automatically notice is the bad and never the good. The least one can do us accept the mistake and leave quietly, instead o publicizing it and losing even the little respect that is left.

This trip was totally exciting in its own way. Through the major and minor things I noticed, I realized how life introduces you to different situations and people. How you deal with them is upto you, which ultimately determines who you are and how your life will be.

Complicated

I am listening to mushy-mushy love songs because romantics soothe me when I am low(well ice creams, some1 singing 4 me and funny conversations cheer me up too……and at times even Chinese food……..oh oh I am drifting from the topic here…..lets get back)

So I am listening to a beautiful romantic song when suddenly I start thinking about the logic behind love (I do that a lot) WHY IS LOVE SO COMPLICATED??? I mean either you have too many options or you have none……either you have about 2-3 guys falling for you or you have no one when you need someone…..Well, if you have too many options….then you are stuck with too many questions like…….what if he’s not the right one or what if the other one is better or what if he changes after I choose him……uuuffffff

And If you don’t have an option, then you have questions like why doesn’t anyone like me or is something wrong with me or why am I always unlucky in love……..So you see, both ways….’Complicated’.

Well it doesn’t end here. Just imagine you finally got through the ‘options phase’ and found you the right perfect one……..well…….still ‘complicated’. At the initial stage everything is oh so lovey-dovey……miss you n kiss you’s. But slowly slowly this complication monster spoils up all the romance. Why are you late……..why don’t you understand my feelings….why you always with your friends…..you have no time 4 me…..possessiveness….jealousy…revenge….domination….egoooooooo (should I say more).All these factors replace the miss you and kiss you’s and ultimately what are you left with…….Yeah, that’s right…….Complicated love….. (Oh c’mon, let the romantic love just be…..)

Well I am too complicated myself to find a solution for this and inspite of my used-up brain to figure out this logic……….I am still confused (aarrrghhhhhh…..complexities ..Y do they rule our lives so much????). I did mention in my previous posts that life is an adventure…..I guess complications just add to make it into an exciting one (huh what……I’m sounding complicated myself)

UUffff….I think I am back to where I started…. WHY IS LOVE SO COMPLICATED???

P.S: If someone figures that out…please let me know….lol

The Missing Factor

Is it me or is it that everytime you have a new close friend, you finally get separated and turn into far-away friends???? Whats the logic ya........you make a new friend and get so used to that friend that you love her/him no matter the negatives or irritating habits.You spent most of the time together - shopping, parties, movies, sharing every problem or happy moment with each other. Months pass by, sometimes even years and then all of a sudden, one fine day either you or your friend gets a tranfer, or has a better job or an educational plan somewhere really far.So far that you cannot go meet that friend everyday or that friend cannot meet you, cannot call everytime you are depressed or happy or need some advice.No partying together, no shopping, no movies...nothing. What do u do?? Start all over.....search a new friend, start getting used to someone else's positives and negatives again.......

I love making friends.....it's fun knowing and meeting new people..But i hate it when that close friend has to go away...We promise to keep in touch, mail or even call as much as possible....but it never really happens na....I mean you get so busy in your own world, maybe even busy with a new friend that, that friendship slowly fades.

And one day when you are alone and thinking....you remember that friend and the moments spent together.You wish for those moments and that friend to be back in your life again.But you know how unpredictable and how unfair life is....but maybe somewhere down the way, this unpredictability may bring your friend back into your life.Till then, you have the memories......

P.S: This post is specailly for all the friends who are far away from me and the one's whom I have lost contact with....thank you for being my friend....hoping to come across you in life....;)

BROKEN

Wrote this poem while thinking about a friend whose breakup had a very bad effect on her..........kinda got me thinking how relationships can be so fragile yet so dominating at times that it can literally break you apart..........

Broken

I cried,

As I watched myself,

Getting hurt and breaking into pieces.

‘What did I do wrong?’

Was the question I asked.

He didn’t love me anymore,

He said.

I cried,

As I saw him,

Fading away from me.

‘Why are you doing this?’

Was the question I asked.

He didn’t love me anymore,

He said.

I cried,

As I remembered,

The times spent with him.

‘Weren’t those times together memorable?’

Was the question I asked.

He didn’t love me anymore,

He said.

I cried,

Just thinking of my life,

Without him.

‘Can you live without me?’

Was the question I asked.

He didn’t love me anymore,

He said.

I cried,

When I realized,

What a fool I was.

And as he walked away,

Reality stood in front of me.

He didn’t love me anymore,

It said.

Life.........

Life..........just a four letter word but it is so much more than the four letters. Frankly speaking, I love life......everyday is a new experience and everyday is different.......And if you just go about it carefully, then maybe it can also turn into an exciting adventure.

I have always looked at life positively because I believe that everything happens for a reason....in short if it was meant to be then it would have happend.......if not then just look at it as a learning experience(I feel like I am just rambling about without actually getting to the point).

Well, the sole purpose I am rambling about this so-called mystery of life is because throughout my life whenever I expected something good to come out of my life.......it happend, but at times it didn't.You know when you want something so bad in life........like gettin into a college you always dreamt of going to, winning a competition, getting the perfect job or even getting the guy you secretly had a crush on.....all these wishes sometimes are or aren't fullfilled.Experiencing such a heart shattering moment may make you want to curse life thinking why it isn't perfect and why others have what you want and you can never even get closer to it......But then....mayb nt at dat tym bt later on after many yrs......whn life seems to b almst goin well, u realise that maybe that was how it was meant to be...maybe life would have seemed better with those wishes but it wouldn't have been the same satisfying feeling as struggling through the tough times and overcoming them would be.......

Maybe thats why I look at life so positively because I know whatever happens, happens for the best.Well........that's life...aint it???